15/3/2025 Ryo
It’s already been two months into 2025.
As I get older, the feeling of time passing seems to accelerate with each year.
And my second life in Asagaya is now half a year has passed. The first time was over 20 years ago, in the winter of 2003, when I moved to this town.
After returning from studying abroad in America, this was the first place I lived with someone other than my family.
At that time, my partner and I, with a combined take-home salary of about 160,000 yen, found that living apart from our parents and maintaining a comfortable lifestyle made “living together” — something that usually sounds sweet and romantic — a very pragmatic choice.
One of her favorite things was the hot cocoa at a café along Nakasugi Street.
It was a coffee shop run by an elderly gentleman, who appeared to be an expert, offering a dedicated, artisanal coffee experience. As a fledgling bartender at the time, I found the way he brewed coffee with such care and skill to be quite cool — very much the image of a master craftsman.
However, during Japan’s deflationary period, when a bowl of beef bowl cost just 300 yen, coffee served at more than double that price felt like a luxury to me, and I couldn’t visit often enough to be considered a regular.
So, when I did have a bit of extra money, I would go there a few times, and she would always insist on coming along.
Since she couldn’t drink coffee, she would always order the cocoa at that shop.
I remember feeling awkward, almost irritated, wondering why she’d come all the way to a coffee shop just to drink cocoa, when she could have had it anywhere else. Back then, I was still young and didn’t fully understand.
Our life together, in the end, didn’t last long due to the differences between her and my work-driven lifestyle.
Visiting Asagaya again after 20 years, I found that while the area under the train tracks had been developed and had a new face, somehow, the atmosphere still felt unchanged from those days.
And the coffee shop,
“Café Deuxoise,”
was still there, as if time had stopped, remaining exactly the same as it was back then.
Stepping into the shop for the first time in 20 years, I suddenly craved that cocoa.
Prepared with the same graceful technique as before, the cocoa had a deep richness and was incredibly delicious.
But the sweetness wasn’t as much as I remembered, and I couldn’t help but think that the cocoa, which my ex-partner once found so delightful, might not have been to her taste, given that she used to say even a convenience store latte was too bitter.
Looking back, I wonder if for her, coming along to the café, even though she didn’t drink coffee, was a rare opportunity for a little outing. Perhaps that was the most she could hope for in the midst of our life together, which was often devoid of traditional dates.
I’ll never know how she truly felt while drinking that cocoa.
As I sipped the slightly bitter cocoa, I selfishly wished for her happiness, and emptied my cup on that cold afternoon.
(原文)
2025年も、はや2ヶ月が経とうとしている。
歳をとるごとに年々時間の体感速度は早まるばかりだ。
そして人生2度目の阿佐ヶ谷での暮らしも半年になる。1度目は今から20年以上前、2003年の暮れにこの街へ越してきた。
アメリカでの留学生活から帰国し、家族以外の人と初めて暮らしたのがこの街だ。
当時の初任給で手取り16万前後の2人が、実家から離れて余裕のある生活をするには、「同棲」という本来はある種甘美な響きを持つ生活も、ひどく合理的な結論であったように思う。
そんな彼女のお気に入りが、中杉通り沿いにある喫茶店のココアだった。
この喫茶店は老紳士のマスターが1人で営むいかにもこだわりの珈琲専門店といった風貌の店で、当時駆け出しのバーテンダーであった自分にとって、真剣に珈琲を淹れるマスターの所作はいかにも職人といった雰囲気で格好良く見えたのである。
とはいえ当時デフレの真っ只中、牛丼が300円の時代に倍以上の値段で供される珈琲は自分には贅沢品で、常連と呼べるほどに通えるわけもなかった。
その為勉強も兼ねて少し懐に余裕がある時に何度か訪れた。そんな時に決まって、一緒に行きたいと彼女にせがまれたのである。
珈琲が飲めない彼女は、この店で決まってココアを頼んでいた。
珈琲専門店で毎回ココアを美味しそうに飲む彼女に、なぜわざわざ着いてくるのだろうとまだ若い自分は苛立ちにも似た気まずさを感じていたのを覚えている。
そんな彼女との生活は、仕事人間だった自分とのすれ違いから結局長くは続かなかった。
20年ぶりに訪れた阿佐ヶ谷は、高架下は開発され新しい顔を見せつつも、なぜかあの頃と空気感だけは変わらないように感じた。
そしてかの珈琲店、
“カフェドゥワゾー”
はまるで時が止まったように、当時の佇まいのままそこにあった。
20年ぶりに入ったその店で、ココアがどうしても飲みたくなった。
相変わらずの美しい所作で入れられたココアは、深いコクがありとても美味しかった。
ただ甘みはそれほどなく、コンビニのカフェラテさえ苦いと言っていた当時の彼女が美味しいと感じたとはどうしても思えなかった。
今思えば、一緒に暮らしながらデートらしいデートもしてもらえなかった彼女にとって、喫茶店に着いて行く時間はささやかなお出かけであったのかもしれない。
そんな彼女がどんな気持ちでこのココアを飲んでいたのか、今はもう知る由もない。
少し苦めのココアを飲み、どうか幸せでいてくれたら、と身勝手な願い事をしつつカップを空にした寒い日の午後であった。